Murder Mystery Meatballs

Murder Mystery Mistake #1: Finding out that I could have bought a pre-made Murder Mystery kit, and still deciding to write everything myself. I remember thinking, “I’ve watched enough episodes of Passions to make this plot interesting and worthy of a Soap Opera Digest Award.” What I did not expect was that the people I invited would take the plot to a whole other level of crazy. Like “illegitimate children, secret/fake pregnancies, torrid love affairs, fake identities, mysterious serial killer history, amnesia” crazy.

Murder Mystery Mistake #2: Inviting friends who had never participated in a murder mystery before, and who had no acting or theater experience. The result? 10 people wearing outfits from different time periods and regions of the world. And all speaking with different accents and dialects. One girl claimed her character had just returned from a trip to Cuba, but was speaking with a British/Australian accent (none of this was in her biography/script, and I really have no idea where any of it came from). The “vixen” came wearing her grandmother’s gardening hat. The “murderer” texted me and requested “mop” be killed next.

Murder Mystery Mistake #3: Planning a menu based on food I’d heard about or seen in passing on Food Network. I had no recipes, no equipment, and really no idea what ingredients I even needed. Asian slaw and shredded chicken sliders, apple and pork meatballs, honey ginger carrot mash, pickled sesame cucumbers, baked brie with balsamic syrup soaked pears, and a baked spinach and ricotta roll.  Worst case scenario, I douse everything in soy sauce and Sriracha and claim it’s “Asian-fusion”.

The good thing about mistakes is that, after you’re done laughing at the whole mess, you realize that maybe it all worked out for the best. We delayed the murder mystery start time because so many people were gorging themselves on meatballs. The recipe I concocted made 50+ pork and apple meatballs, primarily because I have no concept of normal portion sizes. By evening’s end, we had finished a few bottles of wine, a baked brie, some champagne, and almost 45 meatballs.We were all gasping for air from laughing so hard.

I honestly can’t recall the details of the murder mystery meatballs recipe. Some pork, some apple, onions, turkey, breadcrumbs, eggs, gouda, salt, pepper. Maybe some soy sauce and Sriracha for good measure. But I will say this: I have some really weird and really hungry friends.

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5 comments

  1. Maybe it’s because I’m re-watching the latest Yes/No episode of Glee, but I nearly bawled at this post. (CARA, YOU’VE GOT TO KEEP IT TOGETHER!!) I want to do a murder mystery!!! I’ve wanted to for YEARS!! Can I come to your next one???

  2. OMG I agree with Cara! I want to join in the next murder mystery too! Also it’s lunchtime and that picture looks a little too good 🙂 yummm

  3. This is such an awesome idea! I have never been to one but now I definitely want to plan one (I’ll make sure to get the kit). How many people ended up coming to your party?

  4. Allee Sangiolo

    This party sounds AMAZING. I remember going to a murder mystery party in elementary school and it was the most fun time. ever. I cant imagine what it’d be like with homemade meatballs and lots of wine! Also the baked brie with balsamic soaked pears sounds so delicious…did you find the recipe somewhere or was that a concoction?

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